“Grief is like the ocean; it comes in waves, ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.” – Vicki Harrison
The recent tragedies involving death of family members have caused some online discussions/debates– Which is more painful: a 2-year old child losing both parents or parents losing a child or death of a whole family?
The accident in SCTEX claimed the lives of 10 people including a young couple. Their 2-year toddler who was with them during the accident miraculously survived. There was an outpouring of sympathies and concern for the 2-year old child. Many are saying that this is very tragic as the toddler will never have the chance to ever see and be with his parents again, will never experience the love and guidance of his parents growing up and will have to go through life minus his parents. Concerns are not only on who will take care of and provide for the child or if there is an insurance or a financial fund set up for the child, but also on the psychological and emotional scar it can potentially cause the orphan. On the other hand, some are saying that since the involved is just a toddler, the emotional impact of the loss will not be as much. The pain will be less since the child does not have a clear memory of his parents. Or is this really the case?
As they say, children are supposed to bury their parents and not the other way around. However, for an OFW father leaving for abroad and a mother sending off his husband, they had to bear the cross of burying their only child. Their 5 year-old daughter was one of the two fatalities when an SUV crashed in front of the departure area of NAIA Terminal 1. Any parent can imagine how devastating it can be for the child’s parents. Everything that parents do, we do for our children. Her father sacrificed going abroad and being away from his family in order to give his family, particularly his daughter, a good life. While her mother attended to all her daughter’s daily needs. How worse can it get waking up knowing that the reason you do what you do is gone, never to come back? How sad can it be realizing that you’ll never experience again her smiles, hugs, kisses and even her tantrums? That you’ll never send her off to her school, intrams, prom, graduation and wedding or celebrate her 7th, 16th, debut or any of her birthdays again? There are those who are advising the parents to be grateful that they got to have her daughter for 5 years, that their daughter will never have to experience life’s challenges, that their daughter will forever be pure in the eyes of God. But are these really enough to console the parents’ grieving hearts?
All but one of the 242 passengers and crew perished in the Air India crash. One of the stories that touched so many people is that of a family of 5, who after years of waiting to fulfill their dream of being together and migrating to UK, boarded Air India for their flight to London. They never reached their destination when their plane crashed shortly after take-off. Some people are saying that they felt sorry for the 3 children who had to die at a very young age while some are saying that it was better that they passed on all together so no one has to carry the emotional trauma. Is there really a better scenario?
A loss is a loss regardless of who died. Whether it’s a child, parents, sibling, relative, close friend or someone you knew well, the pain of losing someone is indescribable, immense and profound. There should be no comparison as death is painful, period. But in death, we can realize, appreciate, and learn some life lessons.
Tomorrow is never promised so we always have to make the most of the present. .Don’t fret over the past or be anxious about tomorrow. Live and seize the present moment.
Show your love and appreciation to the people around you while you can. Spend time with them. Usually, it’s not money or material things but your presence that they need the most from you.
Life doesn’t always happen with warnings. Prepare for the future of your family as if you’re no longer in the picture. This will ensure that your loved ones get to continue the lifestyle you wanted for them even if you’re no longer around.
Things always happen for a reason. We may not always get what we want but there is always a higher purpose behind it. Have trust and keep the faith.
Life is fleeting. We have no control over our existence. Let’s stop putting off things for “someday”, which may not even come.
