“A father holds his daughter’s hand for a short while, but he holds her heart forever.” — Unknown
Yesterday, June 21, we celebrated Father’s Day – a special day in honor of the first man in our lives. There have been so many articles and talks about mothers and their unconditional love for their children. Yes, mothers carry a child for nine months in her womb, give birth to the child, breast feed the child and took care of the child most of the time. But this does not mean that the role of fathers in their children’s life is of lesser value and importance. And while there is the usual strong bond between fathers and sons, I have to say that there exists a special and unique father-daughter bond.
Growing up, I felt that I had that special bond with my late father. My mom will always say that I was his favorite. Our bonding moments include making jokes at each other (which my siblings cannot understand), watching the original Penthouse Live (with Archie Lacson) and Two for the Road during late weekend nights and going over my assignments together (he was my official tutor). While we didn’t frequently see each other during the years leading to his death, our special connection has always been there.
For most daughters, their father is their first hero – their own superman, spiderman, batman and ironman ready to protect and rescue them from the villains. A father serves as their pillar of strength and emotional anchor. For a daughter, her father is the strongest, indefatigable and indispensable. While daughters recognize and respect their father’s strict stance, they also know how to charm their way in. With one sweet smile and “pa beautiful eyes”, they can easily disarm their dads. Something that sons just cannot get away with so fast.
Indeed, the quality of ties between fathers and daughters plays a crucial role on a daughter’s emotional, mental and psychological development.
As daughters look up to their fathers, they put a lot of weight on what their fathers say about them. Studies show that a father’s positive affirmation, encouragement, and active presence have a positive effect on his daughter’s self-esteem and confidence. Daughters who always receive positive remarks from their fathers like “you’re beautiful, you’re smart, you’re loved”, grow up feeling assured and confident about themselves. They don’t need to get validation from other people. In contrast, daughters who grew up devoid of praises and affirmations from their fathers usually seek validation from others, especially from men. As they are longing for compliments and praises, they easily believe and fall into “flowery” words given to them by their suitors. This situation usually leads to teenage marriage or pregnancy. A healthy father-daughter relationship is critical to a daughter’s foundation of self-worth.
As the first man in her life, a father sets the standard for her daughter on how relationships should be. How the daughter sees her father treats her mother becomes her norm on how a woman should be treated. Daughters often look in their future partner the qualities and traits of their fathers. Consciously or unconsciously, daughters expect from their partners the love, care and attention they received from their fathers. As their self-worth is strong, they know what they deserve from a relationship. Also, those with strong connections with their fathers, generally have better communication skills in their adult relationships.
While mothers are considered to be more emotionally attached with their children, a father’s protective side provides their daughter that sense of emotional security. As fatherhood often brings out the softer and nurturing side in men, daughters turn to their fathers for a deeper sense of safety and unconditional acceptance. Their emotional resilience and resilience in life, in general, is formed by the consistent emotional support and encouragement they receive from their fathers. Daughters usually attribute their assertiveness, courage to stand up for themselves, and sense of adventure to their fathers. A strong father and daughter bond produces daughters who are emotionally healthier and more resistant to changes, social pressure, and bullying.
This relationship between a father and a daughter is a beautiful, lifelong journey—from holding those tiny hands while learning to walk to carrying those bags on her first day in school, to patiently waiting for her to come home from those parties to walking her down the aisle on her wedding day to standing proudly and cheering as she realizes her many dreams. And even after she has her own family, a father will still be present. As they say, a daughter will forever be a baby girl in his father’s eyes.
Cheers to all the Tatays, Itays, Dads, Papas, and Pops on your special day! May you continue to be blessed as you remain a blessing to your family.
Special Father’s Day shout out to all the dads in our family, but most especially to my husband Jun, who’s been an amazing father to all our children. He has been the source of strength, wisdom and calmness in our family. I am truly grateful that our children has him for a father. Happy Father’s Day!!!
